More weeks than I care to mention have passed since I have found the time to string a selection of vaguely coherent words together and press the publish button. Believe me when I say my intentions have been good, I'll have you know there is a cracking gift guide in my draft posts. Though at 22 days the wrong side of Christmas, I'm going to admit defeat on that one. At this point I fear I have missed the boat on any sort of end of year reminiscing also. I do however like to give credit where credits due - 2018, you did me proud.
The prospect of a new year - can be daunting and the deluge of resolutions and big plans everyone else seems to have for the coming year can be overwhelming. 365 days stretched out before you, hoping somehow you'll use them to be a more well rounded adult. Make many an improvement of note. Work hard all while being a good friend, partner, daughter. Eat super foods, remember to take your vitamins past the second week in January. Get to the end of the month with more than £11 in your bank, establish a solid skin care routine, prove that annoying little step counter on your phone wrong. The list is endless.
On a slightly less facetious note I've not been known to excel under the pressure to live out your next twelve months better than your last. However intricately you plan your attack for your coming year, I tend to find life just has that knack of being highly uncooperative. With that in mind I'm not one for setting myself endless lists of resolutions and goals, which are likely to go out the window by March and leave me with that familiar bad taste of failure. (Very small violin, take it away)
While understanding the purpose for each of the many lotions and potions on my dressing table is certainly a honourable goal for the year, I had something slightly more obnoxious sounding in mind. A new years mantra* if you will. Some principles I hope will set the bar for a happier and healthier mind in 2019 and beyond.
* Forgive me, I did indeed use the word mantra.
1. Compare less. Comparison for me is a problem. I have come to realise I spend a considerable, in fact embarassing, amount of time comparing myself to my peers. Wondering how well I measure up, ergo feeling inadequate. Letting successes go unnoticed, because what have I got to shout about when everyone else is on to bigger and better things? As I sit here writing this, I am almost certain you'll have been on this very same train at some point. Relentlessly, circling around the track and it can be soul destroying. I have however become quite accustom to this train, a season ticket holder in fact. It would be naive to think I could just jump off at the next stop just like that but with a little less time focused on what 'that girl from uni I barely talked to' is up to and, who knows, I might get to fry some of those bigger fish for myself in 2019.
2. Headspace. Life even at the best of times can be hectic, stressful and confusing in equal measure. Combine that with being a world champion over thinker and professional worrier and things have a tendency to get messy. While it would be easy to prescribe myself two large G&Ts a night and be done with it, I think a more well rounded adult approach may be required here. Here’s to less time on my phone, more hours well spent and learning that allusive art of not giving an F about all those insignificants.
3. No, Thankyou. My names Hannah and I’m a people pleaser. I’ll happily inconvenience myself and those closest around me because I simply can’t say no. I’ll make commitments it’ll be near impossible to achieve. Say yes to work I don’t have time to complete and get shoehorned into doing things I have absolutely no desire to do. I have however woken up in 2019 enlightened and ready to tell people hell-to-the-no. The year of politely declining, 12 months of I’m sorry but the time frame is unachievable, 365 days of I do apologise I’m washing my hair.
4. Patience is a virtue. If I’ve heard it once, I’ve heard it a thousand times - nothing worth having comes easy. However when they were giving out patience I must have been held up in a queue elsewhere. Again time keeping somewhat lacking Hannah. Whatever I’m putting my hand to I want to be the best at it and I want it now. It’s brattish behaviour, I know, even as I’m writing this I’m realising just how so. This year I need to work on my staying power, work harder and practice patience. Nothing worth having comes easy don’t you know.
5. Haters gonna hate. In case this post wasn’t a clear indication I can be pretty self deprecating, in an vague hope it might raise a chuckle. Day to day I am hard on myself though and that’s no joke. Critiquing the way I look in every photo - hair, legs, teeth, nose. Always recognising the negative qualities over the positive. This year I’d like be kinder to myself, you should too. Less scorning in the mirror, because by the way my legs aren’t so bad.
2019, I am ready, let’s make it a good one.
